It’s easy to get lost in stress and negativity, especially when life throws unexpected challenges your way. Whether it’s an overwhelming day at work or a big loss, the weight of the situation can overshadow everything else. However, even on the toughest days, there are small moments of kindness and joy, reminding us that not all is lost.

One of my favorite quotes is, “Not every day is going to be a good day, but there is good in every day.” Learning to find the good is not always an easy task, but with practice, it is possible to be able to shift your focus and mentality and find the good that exists in everyday life.

A Rough Start

Recently I was in a minor car accident on my way to work. Everyone was okay – no one even had any aches or pains, but my car was totaled. This was the first accident I had been in since I started driving and I felt terrible. I couldn’t stop thinking about my insurance rate going up, how I was going to pay for a new car, and how I was going to get to work that day. However, while I sat in the grassy strip next to my car and cried, a crossing guard came up to me to see if I was ok.

We had a brief conversation; she checked to ensure I wasn’t injured and helped me figure out what I needed to do. We only talked for a couple of minutes, but just having someone there, wanting to make sure I was ok, really made an impact. She told me, “Cars can be replaced, people can’t. No matter what your parents or partner or anyone says, you’re okay and that’s what matters.”

Later that night, my fiancé and I walked to the nearby Target and discovered they had started to build their Halloween displays. As Halloween is my favorite holiday, this made me very excited and started to forget all the stress and anxiety I was feeling earlier in the day.

When I look back on the day, I still remember the fear and anxiety I felt during and just after the accident, but I also remember the kind crossing guard who helped me and the fun I had discussing this year’s Halloween costume ideas. While I wouldn’t necessarily say the day was a good day, I still believe there was good that happened.

How to Find the Good

Finding the good, even on bad days, can be difficult. It’s something that has taken me years of practice to do. However, these are the things that I believe have made it possible for me to do so.

Actively Look for the Good It can be easy to focus on the negative things that happen in l ife. They are often the most shocking and take up the most room in our minds. However, there are still good things happening all around us, big and small.

When I was in college, there were often days where I felt overwhelmed with exams, homework, and the craziness that comes with being a student. I often struggled to try and find the good, but one day discovered that the pine trees on my walk to class had squirrels that lived in them. I made a point every day to stop and look at the squirrels, to see them climb up and down the trees with their nuts and seeds so that no matter what happened, I at least saw the squirrels that day. It’s often silly little things like this that end up being my “good thing” for the day, but intentionally looking for them has helped me appreciate it more when good things happen.

Practice Gratitude Being grateful for the things we have and the good things that have happened often makes it easier to find the good in the future. It starts to train our minds to not only be on the lookout for when good things happen, but to be appreciative when they do.

In high school, I took a yoga class. The last ten minutes of class were reserved for mindfulness and gratitude. We had to sit and think about three things we were grateful for that day. At first, I thought this was just a silly exercise to kill time, however, after doing it for a couple weeks, I realized I was thinking throughout the day about what I was grateful for.

Simple things like, having a bowl of cereal from a brand new box, or hitting every green light on the way to school, or even being able to hit the snooze button one extra time and still being on time to first period, made me realize there’s a lot to be grateful for in this life.

Surround Yourself with Positive People Who you surround yourself with makes a huge impact on your mentality about things. People naturally try to adapt their attitude and personality to match those around them. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but if those around you are pessimistic or grumpy all the time, you’ll start to match their “vibe” and find it more and more difficult to find the good.

I used to have a friend group who were constantly bickering at each other and talking behind everyone’s back. They never wanted to go out and do fun activities, and when they did, they would make snide comments about everyone else in attendance. I didn’t enjoy being around them, but I was so desperate to find a friend group I stayed. As the weeks went by, I realized I started doing the very things that drove me crazy about them. Luckily, I had a friend in the same group who felt the same way and was tired of the negativity everyone was bringing. We created space between ourselves and the group and almost at once felt happier and found the good again.

Be the Good It can be difficult to find the good. It seems around every corner there’s something to be worried, scared, or stressed about. Life can feel overwhelming and like there’s nothing good happening. When this happens, I challenge you to try and be the good you want to see. If someone at the store needs help reaching a box on the top shelf, grab it for them. Or if someone is in a rush at the bank, let them go first. Forgive the driver who cut you off on your way to work or the rude person in line. You never know how big of an impact you can make.